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remember when you were a little kid and you found pleasure in the simplest things and you were allowed to use your imagination and to be afraid and to freely express disappointment and pain and there were no complicated details to keep track of and you only had two responsibilities (eat your vegetables and make your bed) and romantic relationships consisted solely of handwritten notes passed during class with stolen smiles and all your best friends lived down the street and something as arbitrary as a pile of leaves would entertain you for hours and there were only three possible grades on your report card (E for Excellent, S for Satisfactory, and U for Unsatisfactory) and money management meant not losing your lunch money and things like affection and faith came so easy and crying was just as accepted as laughing and you had way more questions than answers and you were so full of potential and it just didn't matter how many "ands" you used because you didn't even know what a run-on sentence was? i remember that.

the funny thing about being a grown up is that i can't really pinpoint the time when i became one. oh sure, there have been discernable turning points, like graduations and relocations and career beginnings but there was never really an instant when i consciously acknowledged my grown-up-itude. i guess i've drifted to the deep end of the pool without even realizing it. apparently i've been perfectly fine here in the deep end for awhile and i know i still will be. but sometimes i just want to put the floaties on and be a shallow-ender again, if only to make sure i don't forget how simple the truth can be.

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