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Sorrow & Love

it is a monday of mixed emotions. is there such a thing as melancholic joy? i think there must be. i feel it strongest when i'm dwelling on the cross. yesterday, during communion, i couldn't keep from shedding tears. although tears are an extreme rarity for me, this isn't the first time they've come when observing communion. they're never tears of sadness or personal anguish. instead, they are tears of overwhelming humility. they are tears of a thankfulness that seems inadequate. they are tears that beg for God to break me. they are tears salted with unending hope and consuming joy. they are the natural outpouring of being so wholly fulfilled in spite of a spirit that deserves nothing more than the emptiness it often chases.

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