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How Can I Tell...

when you're as wise as i am, people often ask you the really hard questions like, "where does the universe end?" and, "what is the meaning of life?"

no one has ever actually asked me either of those, but another doozy that i get a lot is, "how can i tell whether i'm right-handed or left-handed?"

well, here's the easiest way that i've been able to come up with: the next time you're in a public bathroom where there is a soap dispenser on each side of the sink, see which dispenser you go for. if it's the one to the right of the sink, then you're right-handed. if it's the one to the left of the sink, then you're left-handed. if it's neither, then you disgust me.