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Ex·cel·i·bate

i can't believe it's not a real word...

ex·cel·i·bate
adj.
1. really, really good at remaining single
2. abstaining from spreadsheet usage, especially by reason of a moral vow

usage examples:
the reason you're the most excelibate person i know is that women tend to go for guys who, you know, shower regularly.

i do my budget with pencil and paper because i'm excelibate.

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